Despite South Africa’s progressive laws on same-sex relationships and marriages, the general sentiments among citizens remain largely untransformed. As a multidisciplinary artist I’ve seldom enjoyed the freedom to express my love for my partner both in my work and in public. But when the abrupt stillness of lockdown allowed me to reflect more deeply on the restrictions that repress queer expression in my country. Essentially lockdown meant finding new ways to make an income and new ways to be creative as a photographer.
And like many others I looked at the resources I immediately had access to at home. I found inspiration in my relationship. Throughout the lockdown, I was with my partner, Tshepiso – whom I affectionately refer to as ‘Pepi’.
And since I was unable to replace my broken tripod before we went into lockdown, I turned to my cellphone to document my relationship with Tshepiso.
The cellphone is less intrusive and afforded me opportunities to find tender moments between us, without having to disturb those moments with a big lens.
From candid moments between Pepi and I, or staged images – the project presents the tenderness between us. It depicts my experience of what I consider my first adult relationship and my first time living with a partner.
Pepi allowed me to experience this consciously. But more than that the project is an opportunity to celebrate this intimacy because outside the doors of our apartment we cannot show affection as a queer couple. In a country where same-sex marriage and relationships are legal, the progressiveness does not translate on the ground. Many people are still immensely homophobic to the extent that some believe in, and carry out, ‘corrective rape’ and murder.
So holding hands after a long day of not being with your partner is forbidden on the streets. These are all unsaid rules. In South Africa, like any other African country, everything is still governed by culture and religion.
Last year, before Tshepiso and I moved in together, we were in a taxi and I badly wanted to hold her hand. I held it but concealed the moment with my jacket because we were sitting very close to the mini-bus driver.
Moving in together gave us a sanctuary to express our love and creativity. This was all we had and needed to get through the stricter periods of the national lockdown.
Meanwhile, the world deliberates our sexuality and the queerphobic, corrective-raping wolves remain ever-present beyond the threshold of our doorstep.
