In a world where men are termed as behaving like women when they choose to remain calm amidst disagreements and women are termed as behaving like men when they react violently, one may wonder if a certain mode of reaction is specially designed for men and another for women.
As children, boys are trained to be tough and to never let themselves be defeated in an argument or fight with the female gender. They are shamed for expressing their emotions through tears as doing so means weakness and femininity.
A man who knows how to cook is said to be too feminine and a man seen cooking or washing for his wife is said to be controlled by a woman.
These and several other gender constructs and social pressures have been found to drive men into either suppressing their emotions or demonstrating aggression to prove their manliness to fellow men, and most often, women who have over time been described as the weaker gender. Thus giving rise to the concept of toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity involves the need to compete aggressively and dominate others just to fit into the societal ideals and notions of what it means to be a man.
In a 2005 study, psychiatrist Terry Kupers defined toxic masculinity as “the constellation of socially regressive male traits that foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia, and wanton violence.”
Australian sociologist, R. W. Connell theorised that common masculine ideals such as social respect, physical strength, and sexual potency become problematic when they set unattainable standards. Falling short of these standards makes boys and men insecure and anxious. According to her, male violence in this scenario doesn’t arise from something bad or toxic that has crept into the nature of masculinity itself. Rather, it comes from these men’s social and political settings, the particularities of which set them up for inner conflicts over social expectations and male entitlement.
Toxic masculinity is a significant contributor to gender-based violence and sexual violence. They are developed when these notions of what it means to be a man lead to violence and domination of women.
The harmful effect of toxic masculinity is laid bare in the increasing number of domestic and sexual violence which to date has stood out as a means to express the qualification to be a man. While some do this behind closed doors to avoid the public eye, others deliberately do it in public to make a name for themselves, prove a point, or just create an impression by telling whoever cares to listen that he is the one in charge and not the woman.
“Globally, an estimated 736 million women (30 per cent) have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both at least once in their life,” states a report by UNWomen.
Also, a 2018 report by the World Health Organization estimates that the prevalence of Intimate Partner Violence is 27 per cent globally and 33 per cent in Africa alone.
It has therefore become apparent that the fight against gender-based violence should include detoxifying masculinity by teaching men better ways to express their emotions and masculinity.
Making men understand that men and women are both humans with equal rights and privileges will help modify the mindset that women are the weaker gender that should be exploited, controlled and managed by men_ who are perceived to be the stronger gender.
Apart from parents who should play a crucial role in ensuring quality childhood experiences free from toxic ideologies for their male children, the media as a powerful agent of socialisation should be at the forefront of producing quality content. This should be aimed at detoxifying masculinity and making the world a peaceful place for both genders.
This article is part of the African Women in Media (AWIM) Graduate Trainee Programme in collaboration with Fojo Media Institute
