Something I have grappled with for sometime now is understanding what my style is. I like to dress well and look good but I don’t like to make it the main challenge of my day. I don’t like to be excessive, but I do believe that looking the part usually dictates how seriously people take you.

I don’t believe in buying into stereotypes of women needing to look pretty, and I would certainly not advocate for you to be more concerned about your looks than about the quality of your work. It is about substance over appearance. So the question is how do I define my style?

Sophisticated Chic?

I like to look sophisticated, be well dressed and feel clean. I also like colours. Colours says a lot about you, but it should be worn with care when you are meeting people for the first time especially those from a different culture to yours. In China for example, red is associated with good luck and happiness. As such wearing red to a funeral is not acceptable. I like accessorising, sometimes you can wear the plainest outfits but the way in which you have accessorised can give you that sophisticated look.

Quality or Quantity?

I have learnt over the years that quality is actually a cheaper option than buying lots of really cheap items (how you define ‘cheap’ is relative to you). When you pay that little bit more, the quality of the material or craftsmanship means that the piece of clothing lasts longer and you don’t have to buy the same set of trousers or shoes over and over again because they fall apart easily. So I have learnt that sometimes paying more is costing you less because you are buying good quality from the beginning in order to not keep replacing things.

Hair

I am a firm member of team natural!!! But I recently had to wear human hair wig as a result of the post-pregnancy shredding that a lot of African women go through. The front of my hair fell out and I had to do weave (then wear a wig) for the first time in 10 years.

This experience has had an impact on my identity. The idea of wear a wig made me self conscious and felt vulnerable to having my authenticity questioned. But it is all about choice. It is about understanding yourself, finding your identity and being true to you. As soon as the front of my hair grows out, I am going back to styling my natural styles again.

Shoes

In some industries, women are encouraged (sometimes even bullied) into wearing heels because it’s considered a more professional look. But ladies, wear what is comfortable for you.

PS: A few days after writing this post, I decided that wigs were not for me and so I cut my hair.
Be bold and do you!

Nugget: Your style and your comfort go hand in hand. You don’t have to look a certain way because that is what is in vogue. Just do you.

What I’m Reading